Life Note
by OneBadPanda
Summary: A loud screeching noise rang out through the once quiet street. A speeding car quickly rounded the corner and came barreling down the road, aiming to beat the yellow light. The driver, drunk, did not see the girl.
1. Chapter 1

It was past midnight with nothing but the full moon lighting the downtown streets. The sky was growing cloudy as puffs of darkness overtook the block making visibility more than a wishful thought. The patches of clouds would then move on, letting the moon smile upon the streets again and light would once more grace the city. The street lamps were always busted, and it was a rather dangerous neighborhood. She walked down the sidewalk in a thin, dirty jacket, a white T-shirt, holey jeans, and old sneakers. Under the hood her blue-silver hair shimmered, the bangs flying gently in front of her face. It was short, almost like a boy's haircut, but long enough to prove it wasn't. It reached a little past her ears and on down her neck, but not very far. Her bangs fell sideways across her forehead and almost covered her eyes.

She stopped at the end of the block for a moment. Her hands in her pockets were shivering. It was cold. She stepped down, making her way across the street, studying her breath as it came from her lips, producing a fog-like cloud in front of her face. There was a subway station nearby. She was going to crash there for the night as she usually did. It was never busy at night and no one really bothered her there.

A loud screeching noise rang out through the once quiet street. A speeding car quickly rounded the corner and came barreling down the road, aiming to beat the yellow light. The driver, drunk, did not see the girl. She had stopped abruptly upon hearing the screeching noise. Watching the car as it came, the lights brightening as her face lifted, causing her light blue eyes to glow in the headlights. The screaming brakes lasted for a near five seconds. The car came to a halt just before hitting the sidewalk after the stop light. A man jumped out of the car and looked at his hood. Another man came out of the passenger's side and rushed up to something lying in the middle of the street.

"You hit someone you jackass!" he shouted.

The driver came by, looking down at the blood and making a face. "Shut the hell up and help me move the body," he murmured, looking around for any witnesses.

The passenger was timid, but did as he was told and helped pick up the mangled heap of flesh and go down into the subway station that was only a few feet away. They laid the body down roughly in a pile of useless clothes thrown away every so often for the shelters. The murders quickly ran up the stairs and jumped back in the car after being assured it was okay to run and sped away at lightning speed—the accident never spoken of again.

She opened her eyes, her vision blurred at first but then clearing up to the brightly lit subway floor. Her eyes hurt a little so she lifted her arm to shield them from the lights. After a moment of gathering her wits, she lifted her head. "I'm...still alive?" she asked herself, barely over a whisper. She picked herself up, resting her weight on her opposite hand. She noticed she was leaning on something rougher than the clothes she mysteriously ended up in. "I feel like I was hit by a damn..." she stopped upon noticing that her bloody hand was over a small white book. "...car..." She reached for it, a pain shooting up her back, causing her to flinch. The book was thin, but pure white. She flipped it over, and in uneven black letters it read "Life Note". She sat back up against the wall as she held it in her hands. "Life Note? What is this, someone's journal?" She noted some people approaching and quickly shoved the book in her jacket and stood, shaking and nearly falling.

The people looked at her with dumbfounded expressions. She just stared back, not knowing that her face and hands and mid section was covered in streaming dried blood. She quickly passed by them without saying a word and boarded a subway car. She found a seat far away from everyone and sat down in the corner, getting herself comfortable and holding the Note as close to her as she could.

It was morning to her when the swarm of business men joined her car sharply on the six o'clock stop in downtown Tokyo. Normally, she would have hid in a corner or blended in with the walls, but this morning her body would simply not answer her calls. So, reluctantly, she settled for sitting in a far away seat; attempting to hide the blood stains and knowing that she was failing miserably. The third stop after, she hobbled out of the subway car and up into the bright streets of a sunny day Kanto; the complete reverse of her night time home. She almost wished she was there in the rundown streets where no one would give a shit about her or what she looked like…but just almost.

"Ceres, hurry up with that you dimwitted girl. I don't know why I put up with you," came a harsh, older voice of a woman showing well her age.

"Sorry Mrs. McCormick," the girl in the brown coat pacified knowing better than to correct her hot-headed boss in saying she had been done with her task for a long time. After all, Mrs. McCormick never found a reason to leave her backroom TV and waddle out during business hours unless it was to check the register, and knowing that today was a very slow day it was very unlikely she would bother. That of course left Ceres to manage "Mrs. McCormick's Flowers and Seeds", the only flower shop ever to give you both plants and the lung cancer; the shop air was perfumed in nothing but the cigarettes the misses puffed.

The bells on the door jingled just as Ceres was watering the roses and a timid Mr. McCormick stepped inside the shop. Unlike his wife, Mr. McCormick was a hard working man who worked nights in a factory but could still take a joke and always insisted every one called him Sam and not Mr. McCormick.

"Good morning, Sam," Ceres greeted lightly.

Mr. McCormick flashed her a tired smile while working to loosen his tie. "And an excellent morning it is, Ceres. Though I do admit I am not planning to stay up and see it pass." Ceres nodded knowingly as he looked around the flower shop, yawned greatly, and rubbed his eyes. "This place really is slow," he addressed the emptiness of it all.

"We had a couple in earlier," Ceres offered only to be ignored by a half deaf Sam.

Sam rummaged in his pocket and held out a bill for her to take. "Here," he said, "could you get me and Joann a cup of Joe? You can keep the change."

Ceres blinked, and then broke out in a rare smile. Two cheap cups of coffee out of ten dollars; oh yes, she really did owe Sam. He knew her troubles and attempted to help in any way he could, at least he did so discretely. Ceres continued to work hard the rest do the day as she always had, doing whatever she could to earn the slightest bit. She was thankful that today was Friday, because the shop was closed on the weekends, and that it was pay-day.

When she flipped the 'Open' sign to 'Closed' and turned around she found Mrs. McCormick standing there with an envelope. She handed it to Ceres in a flustered manner. "Your weeks pay," she said, then turned and went for the door. "Don't forget to lock up."

Ceres held the envelope in her hands, sighing. The lady had always said that every night before she left. Ceres had never once forgotten such an important task. She fumbled through the store and grabbed her bag and headed out, closing and locking the door behind her. She stood outside the shop, the setting sun's red rays falling upon her. It was time to leave the clean Kanto and head back to Tokyo. She didn't know why she stayed in Tokyo rather than Kanto. She had once thought that since that was believed to be where she was born she wanted to stay there. However, she had more than once thought of moving her settlement to a more appropriate setting.

Ceres boarded the subway train and sat down in the farthest corner on the floor. Somehow it felt better than the seats. She sat there for a moment, waiting for the train to start. She touched her face, remembering what she looked like when she went into the bathroom of the flower shop that morning. She couldn't believe she was still alive. Her hand journeyed to her bag. She pulled out the little white notebook and examined it. She hadn't opened it yet, and wasn't sure if she should. Her fingers ghosted across the black letters, and then to the edge where she pulled open the cover.

She scanned over the first page:

The human whose name is written in this note shall be saved.

This note will not take effect unless the writer has the subject's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.

If the cause of rescue is written within 40 seconds of writing the subject's name, it will happen.

If the cause of rescue is not specified, the subject will simply be saved by a miracle.

After writing the cause of rescue, the details of the rescue should be written in the next 5 minutes and 30 seconds.

If the person has been declared dead, his/her name must be written in this note within the next 72 hours to be saved.

Ceres' eyes became wide with concern. "What?" She turned the page, finding blank lines. She flipped through noting that nothing was written inside the note. "Why is nothing written in here?" She looked at the cover once more. "Life Note," she whispered. She closed her eyes. "This must be some kind of joke."

The train car came to a squealing halt. Ceres shoved the book back in her bag and rose, exiting the subway car. She walked quietly down the sidewalk, the skies becoming darker and the few street lights that worked lit. _Life Note...Whoever wrote this was pretty thorough about it. Any human whose name is written in this note shall be saved?_ She laughed. _I can't believe I'm actually carrying it around._ Ceres adjusted her bag on her shoulder. _Or even considering..._

Ceres looked around. A few cars occupied the streets alongside motorcycles. She watched people up and down the sidewalks. _This world is full of filthy people. It covers up the good, and makes is harder for them to live..._ She stopped by a window. Small TVs were on the other side, and as always the news was on. She stood there for a moment to watch. Sometimes they put the news and weather on, so she could get an idea of what to wear the next day or so.

"It has been clarified that today at the Tokyo Bank there is a man by the name of Hiroshima Takana who's been holding two people hostage for nearly four hours. Policeman say that he refuses to let them go and is armed. Here are the hostages, Toko and Mia Lovete, sisters from nearby Kanto. Reporters are on the scene now..."

Ceres stared. _So filthy..._ A picture of the bank robber appeared on the screen. Ceres studied it. Her hand slowly reached for her bag. _No, it's stupid. It's just some joke_. Ceres turned away. She stopped, flustered, and pulled out the notebook. She held a pen over it in haste. _What if it works? What if I actually save someone's life?_ _Would I be punished? It isn't my right..._ She quickly wrote the name of the two hostages down and looked up and a clock on one of the light posts. She watched the second hand. _Forty seconds..._

She watched until the final forty was up and turned towards the TV, noting that nothing had changed. Her eyes hooded and she shoved the book in her bag. _Of course..._ She turned away and made to walk down the sidewalk once more.

"Oh, hold there seems to be some movement down there..."

She stopped and looked behind her at the television, frowning.

"It's the hostages! The hostages are coming out unharmed!" the television voice blared. "But what about the robber? He's coming out! His hands are up and I believe he is surrendering! He put the gun down. Oh my god I can't believe this. It is truly a miracle. Police are apprehended the suspect now..."

Ceres stood with wide, trembling eyes. She held up the notebook, staring at its cover. _Any human whose name is written in this note shall be saved. If the cause of rescue is not specified, the subject will simply be saved by a miracle._ Ceres shook her head. "No, it has to be a coincidence." She started walking again, soon finding the old library and slipping to the back of the building. As far as she knew, no one else knew of the broken window seal and she slipped inside every so often and stayed there.

Ceres rested herself by a table, placing the notebook flat on the top and staring at it. "It has to be a coincidence. There's just no way..." She glared. "But...if it is true...then the only way to be sure is to test it again." She shook her head. "What am I doing? This can't be possible..." She sat back in her chair and clicked her pen. "There has been a lot of deaths recently. It's all over the news. Kira...the 'killer'...is bringing justice to the world. He's murdered countless criminals within the past week. I wonder...if this is real...that there is an opposite. Maybe Kira has the opposite book to this. Maybe he has...the Death Note..." Ceres smacked her forehead. "What are you thinking? You have enough problems you can't just waltz on in and start changing the world like him. You don't need to be the center of attention. You live in a library." Ceres looked down. "But still..."

Ceres woke up for what felt like the millionth time that night. _There's just no denying it; I'm crazy for even thinking that what happened back there was a _miracle_. It was just a coincident…anyone with a brain knows there's no stopping Kira with a book…a Note rather…_ She sighed a pushed herself up, making her way the small office. It was dull, holding only the smallest personal things from the old lady librarians. Ceres plopped down on a black, wheeled computer chair and hit the ON button on the small TV that was sitting on the corner of the desk. Randomly she began flipping through the channels; surely there must have been a good sitcom on or something…

"-L the mysterious leader of the Kira Case has been officially declared dead as of yesterday evening and the search for Kira is up in flames. But moving away from the case new information on the man behind the letter is being revealed. L Lawliet is being shown here as the mastermind behind the scenes…"

Ceres drowned out the words, eyes wide as she focused on the face of a hero; the dark circles under the eyes and the blank glaze and the windswept hair. "L Lawliet…the Kira expert…dead." She tore herself away from the screen and reached for a discarded pen on the desk. _It's crazy…_ She flipped the Note open, tracing her fingers along the only other name. _…but…_ Ceres brought the pen down hard, the letters scratched in deep and the ink bled. "...What if I can…"

* * *

**Hello Readers ^^ Thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter of Life Note. It has been edited and revised a little to better the quality of the story.**

**A note for some, the writer is fully aware that the media would probably NEVER get a hold of L Lawliet's personal information such as his name or even a photograph. For the plot of this story, however, some of those rules had to be bent. Please enjoy the following chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

L woke with a start, sitting up quickly and breathing insanely. He clutched his chest, his eyes wide as he looked around. He noticed the unusually clean room, empty trash cans and arrangement of flowers. He looked down, and as soon as he had he threw his hands up in vain, screaming, and forcing himself roughly out of the coffin. He landed on the floor a little bruised and looked back at the coffin. He raised his hand. "I'm...alive?!" His breathing was in uneven bursts and he thought it impossible. "This cannot be..." he muttered, staggering to his feet. He ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and trying to relax. "This is not good...this is not the work of Kira, or any of the shinigami..." He made his way out of the double mahogany doors and into the barely lit, empty parking lot. He realized he was in the center of Tokyo, at one of the biggest funeral homes around. He cradled his head, feeling slightly drunk from the experience.

He began walking, slightly hunched over back to his home. His mind was abuzz with questions. How was he alive? Who did it? Why? And what became of Kira? There had to be an explanation; a logical explanation.

Ceres watched the news for another fifteen or so minutes before crashing on the table. She woke early the next morning, finding the open Life Note and the TV on. She watched it for a few seconds to see that the buzz was about this morning. It appeared as though stocks were high and gas prices were rising at a steady pace. There was nothing interesting happening. Ceres looked at the notebook. "I guess it was just a joke."

She picked it up and shoved it in her bag, hopping out of the library into the rainy atmosphere. She quickly flipped her hood up and walked down the near deserted streets towards the subway. She shrugged her pack on further. "I can't believe for a second that..." She stopped herself. She peered through the misty air. Someone was standing at the entrance of the subway, slightly hunched over with a white hood on. She cautiously approached, and when she descended into the subway station, he did also. Ceres felt her heart skip a beat and her breathing had quickened. Before she knew it they were standing close to side by side waiting for the subway train. Ceres kept her head down, but could not overcome the nerve to look for his face. As soon as she had, he turned his head toward her, his eyes wide with innocence. His eyes were black, dark circles accompanying him, though he did not appear tired. As he looked he popped a piece of candy into his mouth.

A picture flashed in Ceres' mind. She took back her breath and looked away. _No way...No way! This can't be happening! That's...he's the..._

The subway train finally arrived and he boarded. She boarded a second after, still dumbfounded beyond belief. She noticed he sat just as any other would—anywhere he could find. She sat herself normally too, across from him and a little ways to the right. She watched him from under her hood pull candies from his pocket and eat them.

_He's the detective...That's L Lawliet...I actually...with the note I..._

"You seem to be enjoying that note," came a sudden voice right next to her. Just as it had the train hit some sort of bump and sent her flying to the floor, her bag landing beside her, the Life Note falling out. She looked up to see someone who was not there before. He had dark blonde hair and blue eyes. How did he know about the note? And...oh no, now L can see it! Ceres turned away from the strange boy and stretched out, panicking, to the Life Note. L was right there, and…he was staring at the Note with something more than curiosity. Was it disbelief or something far more complex?

She felt paper meet skin—that was it; the Life Note was back in her hands. She was safe at least for now. L's black eyes were on her now, taking her in hungrily. And the other man, he was, Ceres had nearly forgotten about him.

"Yes, you do seem much attached," the voice came again. It was soft, and smooth. Like yogurt. Oh yes, now she remembered.

Ceres' eyes found him instantly. There was a certain air of pleasantness that couldn't be ignored. Simply by looking at him Ceres was filled with a warm, light feeling, she suddenly had the urge to run up and hug him; how any of the other passengers could stand being so far away from him was beyond her. He wore a simple white T-shirt and a pair of jeans with sneakers, like any other teen. However his blonde hair seemed to glow as well as his skin and eyes. His eyes were perhaps the most striking feature; bright, sky blue orbs that screamed purity. She was so distracted by the teen's beauty she didn't notice as L continued to stare at her, nor did she notice the slight frown on his lips.

The glowing teen smiled back at her, the feeling intensified. "You do like it don't you?" he sounded deeply amused, not in a smug way, just content.

L had known instantly that something was off course. Of course catching her staring at him on the platform like he was a ghost (which he was in a way) was a blaring hint. It wasn't just the stare of someone who recognized him as L Lawliet the dead detective, no; it was the stare of someone who knew more. And the notebook; he had spotted that in her arms in a second and could only guess what it meant. Life Note; there was no mistaking it: the girl's book was the twin of Light's Death Note and L knew why and how he was back. The owner of the Life Note, whether it was the girl or not, had brought him back. He could only pray it was not a mistake.

He continued to stare at her from the time their eyes first locked. She seemed timid and avoided his face ever since, though he knew she was chancing glances at him from time to time with those knowing blue eyes of hers.

Ceres stumbled to her feet, hugging the notebook close, and found a seat as far away from L as possible. She didn't know what to do as she stared at the floor. She chanced hesitant glances at him only to find that he was _still_ staring at her. She turned back, frightened beyond belief. _What have I done? What's going to happen to me? It wasn't supposed to work, I wasn't supposed to bring someone famous back from the dead! This is terrible! I'm not some sort of god! I can't do this! It's wrong! What will happen? Will they just forget about it and realize that they had made a mistake about his death? Will it be all over the news that someone's out there reviving people?! Oh my god why me?!_

"Calm down, it's not the end of the world you know," came a soft, musical voice, the voice of that boy.

Ceres looked up. He was standing right in front of her. "Who are y-" She saw a passenger faze right through him as if he were a hologram. Her eyes widened. "Ok I'll just skip the 'who' and go straight to the 'what the hell are you?!'

The boy looked around quickly and then pushed his finger to her lips gently. "Hey, hey, now don't go screaming into thin air like that. People will think you're insane," he smiled.

Ceres was confused. He pulled his finger away and continued. "My name is Apollo. That book used to be mine. Seems I went and lost it again," he sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "You found it in the alley right? Goodness what on earth was I doing there? No…couldn't have been...no, not that either." He looked up. "Hmmm..."

Ceres was still on one subject. "What are you?" she asked quietly.

Apollo looked at her, then smiled. "I'm Apollo, an angel from the second level of Heaven. Nice to meet you, Ceres, isn't it?"

Ceres nodded. _An angel? This kid must be on drugs…or I'm on drugs… I must be dreaming or got hit in the head or...maybe getting hit by that car did this to me_.

Apollo took a seat next to her. "Nah, it wasn't the car." He pointed to the Life Note. "This, this is how you and only you can see and hear me. This is what saved your life. If your hand hadn't of landed on it, you would be dead."

Ceres picked it up and handed it to him quickly. "Here, take it if it's yours." She wanted to be rid of the burden as quickly as possible.

Apollo refused by shaking his head. "It's not mine anymore. Once it was dropped here in the human world, it belongs to the human that picks it up."

Ceres stared. "Why me?"

"What about you?" Apollo asked, tilting his head.

"Why choose me to have it?" the girl asked, curious as ever.

Apollo stared and then laughed, but not in the mean way. "Silly girl, I didn't _choose_ you. The book just happened to land somewhere where you found it and you just happened to pick it up. It was all an accident."

"An accident?"

"But if you really don't want it than you can give it back," Apollo simply said. "All memory of having had it will be erased, however."

Ceres stared at the note. "Am I going to be punished for what I did? I mean, I brought someone back from the dead. Isn't that wrong?"

Apollo brought his knees to his chin and tried to sit like L. "How in the world does he do that? This is...ugh..tough!" He looked at Ceres before losing balance. "Huh? Oh! Nah, you're fine. You followed the rules and that's why he is back. One can be brought back within 3 days of his death. You will not be punished."

"Well...then here...take it," Ceres tried again, holding it out to him.

Apollo shook his hands in front of his face. "Nah, you keep it. I don't want it right now. Too much responsibility."

"But I don't want it!" she complained.

"Oh come on, don't you think you can make a difference with it? I mean, I've noticed you've been watching the Kira case lately."

"The Kira case?" She looked down. "Well yeah, who isn't? That's just...one cannot bring justice like that. It's wrong."

"Well, look at it this way: He has this, strange power to kill people, and you have the power to bring them back, save them, undo his wrong. Don't you want to make a difference?" Apollo said while trying L's position again.

Ceres stared. "I can't make a difference..."

Apollo pointed at the note again. "But with this you can. Besides, I'm bored. I want to stay here a little while. Don't worry, I'll look after ya!"

Ceres peered at him. For an elegant and beautiful angel, he sounded like the typical teenager. "What do I do now?" she asked as the train car stopped.

Apollo was about to say something but then stopped, staring in front of him. He pointed, "Ah, you have a stalker here."

"Huh?" Ceres looked forward and nearly jumped out of her skin. L was standing with slightly bent knees in front of her. He had been watching her carefully the whole ride, noticing how she gestured towards the air beside her as if someone was there. She was either mental or there was something there he could not see. He was leaning more towards the mental decision, but was not 100% certain. "This is your stop," he said in a small voice.

Ceres looked out the window then and laughed nervously. "Actually it's-"

"Follow me please," L said, turning, and leaving to exit the train car.

Apollo elbowed Ceres gently, speaking from the corner of his mouth. "You might want to follow him."

Ceres stood and followed timidly. She stepped off the train and stopped a few feet away from L. The train began to leave and Apollo stood in the middle of the tracks, scratching the back of his head and watching it depart. "What a way to travel!" he said with a smile.

Ceres ignored him. Her eyes were locked on L. Did he know? Was it possible? _Of course he knows, he's a famous detective, there is no way something would slip by him_.

L's head turned to her and he popped a candy in his mouth and swallowed. "Would you come with me please? I want to talk," he said, his voice a little muffled by the candy.

"Why can't we just talk right here?" Ceres said, laughing nervously again.

L stared blankly at her. "I have cake at home. It's more comfortable there too." He turned and began walking.

Apollo jogged up to Ceres quickly. "Did he say cake?"

Ceres sighed. She went in behind L, Apollo running around behind her but also following. _What does he want? Is he going to kill me? He doesn't look like the type to just kill someone... Maybe...oh dear... What have I gotten myself in to?_


	3. Chapter 3

L was quite quick for someone constantly hunching over and soon enough Ceres found herself jogging to not be left behind. Apollo, on the other hand, seemed to be standing still every time Ceres looked at him yet strangely when she turned around again he would suddenly be right next to her.

After five minutes off L's crazed pace Ceres finally made up the decision to talk to him (as he had been silent since the train) and hopefully slow him down some. But first was the obstacle of what to call him, it wouldn't be right to say "L" or "Lawliet" in public where anyone could pick up on it and since he hadn't actually introduced himself she was at a loss.

"Excuse me, um, I have a-" she began.

"Call me Ryuzaki for now, please," L said, not even looking at her as he blended in with a crowd to cross the busy street in downtown Kanto.

"Right," Ceres accepted, but she had to stop there because just then the crowd was pushing her to cross the street and once again she had to jog to keep up with L.

"Ryuzaki," she said, "I have to ask you-"

Once again the detective interrupted her, "If you would wait until we reach my home I might be able to answer much more…in depth, then the circumstances here would allow."

"But how long will that-" Ceres started in again.

"We're here," L announced, and all too suddenly he turned away from the sidewalk and on to the stairs to a brick apartment. Ceres scampered after him as he found a key hidden on the building and entered. She heard Apollo chuckle and spotted him from the corner of her eye playing with a white little kitten on the steps. L closed the door and the view was disconnected; she saw the look those black eyes gave her and pleaded not guilty with a small smile and shrug. _Well at least that's one less person not making sense gone for now._

Ceres didn't bother to let herself feel bad about leaving Apollo outside. The strange buzz Apollo blared was causing her head to hurt anyway. _Well he is an angel! What did you expect?_

"This way, and please save the questions until we are alone," L said and then sped down the hallway to where a flight of stairs waited.

_Alone?_ Ceres glanced around; there were no people that she could see but then… _A camera?_ A rather expensive, high-Tec and super small camera at that; probably one of L's own. So this was really L's home? L lived in the top most apartment within the building. It was only two rooms, a large main room with no furnishings at all and a small bathroom. The walls were a very light blue; the floors were dark, almost black, and made of wood. There were only two things to suggest a human lived within: a small refrigerator in a corner and a computer, still on, sending out artificial light in the otherwise dark room. And Ceres noticed all of this in one quick sweep on the room once L unlocked the door and ushered her inside.

She stepped inside quickly and L locked the door behind bothering to turn on the lights, for there was a light switch, L trudged to the computer and sat down in his odd fashion facing away from it. Ceres stood awkwardly by the door and twiddled her thumbs.

"Please, come sit down," L said without looking at her.

Ceres hurried to please him and sat down Indian style opposite him on the floor. "So?" she said lamely. _Oh my goodness, I'm with L Lawliet. _The_ L Lawliet! Kira's only rival!_

"As I am sure you have guessed, I am L," L said calmly, still not making eye contact. His voice was very soft, almost as soft as the angel's.

"Yes," Ceres squeaked.

"I believe that you knowing that information entitles me to your name?" he said; his raccoon eyes never strayed from her.

"I'm Iesada Ceres," she offered automatically. _Why did I just tell him that? If he was Kira I'd be dead!_

"Ceres," L said, testing the name on his tongue. He dropped his head onto his knees and looked up at her now. "I'm now going to cover up way questions, Ceres. Where did you get that notebook?"

_Damn it! How did he… Does he think I…? But I didn't! _Her face hardened_. But I did_. She stroked the spine of the book. _This is so not good!_

L took in her silence. "Let me see it," he whispered.

Ceres stared at him. See it? Should she let him? Did she have a choice? She picked up the note and handed it to him anyway. If something bad was going to happen, might as well go for it.

He stared at it and took it. He opened it then and held the top corners with the tips of his fingers. He flipped through it slowly. He stopped when he found his name. "You know my name?" he asked.

She nodded gently. "Yes…"

"How?" he asked, curious.

"When you...died...they revealed your name to the public."

"They did? How long have I been dead? Or...how long _was_ I dead?" he asked, staring up at her.

Ceres stared back at him. "You were dead for at least 36 hours, I know..."

He looked back at the note, and then at her again. "What provoked you to bring me back?"

She stared at him for a while before answering. "I had little faith in the note when I had found it, and I wanted to test it. It was just a coincidence that I had chosen you, and in all reality I did not believe it would work..." she mumbled.

"Yes...I see...domo..." he thanked. He closed the note and handed it back to her then.

Ceres gently took it from his pale fingers. "So, what are you going to do to me?"

He stared incredulously at her. "To you? Whatever do you mean?" He tilted his head as he asked the question.

"I mean...will you punish me?" she asked, looking at him from beneath her bangs.

"Punish you? Why would I do that?"

"I don't know..." she mumbled looking away.

"I can only thank you, Ceres-chan..."

She looked up. "Thank me?"

"Yes, for bringing me back. What of Kira?" he asked, changing the subject rather quickly to something he actually knew about.

"Kira?"

"Has he made any moves since my temporary death?"

"I…don't really know.. I mean.. There have been a few more mysterious deaths," she answered, not quite sure what to say. What did he think, that she was on his task force or something?

L took his thumb and bit the tip as he rested his head in his knees. "Would it be a problem if I asked you to stay with me?"

"S-Stay with you?" she frowned suddenly.

"Yes, Ceres-chan. You possess this Life Note, which would be great aid in my case," he mused.

"Why do you need me? I can just...give it to you."

He shook his head. "No...I don't want to put myself in that kind of situation. You keep the note; you know its rules..."

"Well I mean you can just flip it to the front here and read the rules-"

"Ceres-chan, do you know anything more of Kira?" he asked, dodging the subject at hand once again.

She looked up at him then. "No...nothing other than what's been on the news. I'm not a very good detective."

"You must be careful, Ceres…"

"Careful?"

"Now that you have something to counter Kira with, and once he finds out I am still alive (which hopefully he won't), he will want to know how, and he will try to eliminate it," he pointed out.

"E-Eliminate?"

"Yes. Eliminate. Destroy, get rid of, murder, etcetera."

"I don't think I can handle this," she said, grabbing her head.

"Ceres-chan? Are you all right?" he asked, suddenly concerned. He cocked his head to the side.

"This is all too much. I mean, how in the world can some homeless person like me end up having one of the greatest detectives in the world want me to help him with one of this biggest cases in the world? I must have went into some alternate reality when I got hit by that car..."

"Homeless? Hit by a car?" his eyes grew with curiosity.

"Yes," Ceres mumbled, aware of him even as she explored the possibilities of being in a different reality. "It got me while I was crossing a street," she explained. "No harm done but some aches a pains."

L's mind was already whirling around this information, creating and eliminating theories. Faster than one can say _Shinigami_ and he had already come to the conclusion Ceres being alive after that was all due to the Note she carried. _So it heals a person touching it even without a name_. "Was the car going fast? Above twenty miles per hour?" L asked to make sure.

Ceres squinted back, then nodded. L sighed. He turned to the other part of the girl's earlier statement that had caused him alarm. "So you're homeless, Ceres-chan?"

"Yes," Ceres confirmed softly, "I stay in a library though. I'm adapted." She added the last bit not to show neediness. She had a job, she didn't _need_ a proper home despite what everyone might think. Not that she didn't want one.

_A library! If she doesn't have a family she could have gone to an orphanage, maybe a runaway then. Better not push her too much, though_. "Adapted or not, you would be safer here. It's the least I can do considering the circumstances. I have the room across the hall rented as well; it was for Watari when we stayed here long and I rarely use it. Still, it should be good enough for at least a few days."

_L wants me to stay here? But I can't do that, I can't stay with him_. Ceres feebly came up with an excuse. "Ano. . . Ryuzaki, I don't think. . . I have to work across town tomorrow, I need my job. It's too far from here. It would be better if I just went back to the library."

"I'll make sure you get to your work," L assured, amused by the girl's obvious attempt. "If I do not, well, then I'll just have to cover you for however much you make. Plus a bonus for the trouble, and a job to replace the one you have."

Ceres gave; she had never had much of fighting chance against a person like L, but at least tried. She surrendered elegantly, "Domo, Ryuzaki."

"Don't mention it Ceres-chan. Why don't you go move in? Here's a key for the room hanging on the wall, make yourself at home," L said. He heard her stand and pitter lightly to the door, the jingle of keys being lifted from the hook, and the close of his door just before the one across the hall opened. Finally, once the other door closed and he was sure she didn't simply leave, L turned back to his computer. He needed to get caught up, and fast. Not to mention he had to contact Watari and possibly Mello and Near to tell them they were not yet in need, he knew the message had not yet been sent but he wouldn't put it past Watari to not tell them.

Ceres spread like star on one of the beds in the apartment. Like the other room it had only a huge open room and a bathroom and no windows but it was furnished comfortably. There were two beds on the left wall, queen sized with a lamp acting as a separator. A large fridge (filled almost completely with sweets) was a in a corner, there was a round rug in the center, two desks, and a TV. It was scarce to most people but more of a home Ceres had ever been allowed to stay in.

Like a cat Ceres snuggled under the rich purple blanket shivering from her wet hair. She had showered first thing and was now completely drained. Under her pillow was the white notebook with only two names inside. She drifted off to sleep by seven, not awakened by the odd blondie that joined her before dark.

Apollo had slipped inside noiselessly and stood at the foot of Ceres' bed, watching her for a moment. He smiled at her, and had mentally thanked L for making her stay here rather than just letting her meander her way back to a cold library. He stepped away and towards the other bed where he collapsed on his back with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Not a second later did his senses pick up something rather...sweet. He jumped up and aimed for the fridge, and upon opening it, it was as if he were in Heaven again. He grinned from ear to ear and grabbed himself a piece of delicious red velvet cake.

Many hours later, L appeared beside the bed shaking Ceres' shoulders gently. "Ceres-chan..." he whispered. "Ceres-chan wake up..."

Ceres moaned slightly and then opened her eyes to L. She jumped up suddenly, grabbing the covers. "R-Ryuzaki-san? What are you doing in here?"

He nodded and pointed over to the other bed. "Did you have someone with you before?" he asked, ignoring her question, gesturing to the sleeping Apollo.

"Someone...with me-" she said looking. "Oh, that's just Apollo...wait..." she wheeled back around to L. "You can...see him?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "Should I not?"

Ceres grabbed the note out from under her pillow. "Maybe because you touched it..." she mumbled. She looked back up to him. "That's Apollo, the previous owner of this Life Note. He says...he's an angel. Do you believe that?" she asked.

He looked at her and then to him. "There is no reason why I shouldn't. The Death Note is owned by Shinigami, demons, so there is no doubt that a Life Note would be owned by an angel," he reasoned.

She nodded. "... I suppose."

He bit the tip of his thumb then and went to open the fridge. His eyes grew wide at the emptiness. "He ate my cake..." he mumbled pathetically.

She looked up at him. _So...Apollo does like cake..._ She jumped up then. "I-I'm sorry, Ryuzaki-san. I'll get you another-"

"It's fine, Ceres," he assured. He reached into his pocket then, pulling out his phone. He looked at her then. "You should get ready for work."

She jumped and then nodded, remembering what time it was. She quickly grabbed some clothes and dashed into the bathroom.

L had watched her for a moment before dialing Watari's number. He held it to his ear in his odd fashion and let it ring. It picked up moments later. "Who is this?" it said first.

"Watari-san, it's L..." L said softly.

"That can't be, L's dead..." the old man responded.

"Yes..." L sighed. "But there has been...a change in plans..."

"I'm afraid I don't understand..."

L sighed again. "Watari-san, meet me at my apartment and I shall explain everything."

"All right," Watari said, and then hung up.

L flipped his phone shut and shoved it into his pocket. Just then Ceres emerged from the bathroom in what looked like jeans with holes in the knees and a t-shirt. She held a blue apron over her arm. She smiled at him then. "All ready, Ryuzaki-san."

He grinned lightly and nodded. It faded however once he looked at Apollo. "What about him?"

Ceres looked at Apollo and shrugged. "He always manages to find me under even the worst circumstances, he will be fine."

He nodded and ushered her forward with his hand, going to the door. "Watari-san will be taking us to wherever it is you work..." he said, opening the door and leading her out.

"Us?"

"Yes..." he agreed, going down the hall with Ceres beside him. "I'll be going with you."

She laughed slightly. "You want to work in a flower shop, Ryuzaki-san?" she joked.

"You work in a flower shop?" he asked seriously, not noticing the obvious joke.

Her smiled faded quickly and she nodded. "Yes, I do. It's a nice little place I guess."

He looked forward again and opened the door to the apartment and stepped out. Ceres followed at his heels and stopped when he stopped. She looked forward and saw a shiny black car waiting in the drive.

"Watari-san," she heard L mumble.

Watari stepped out of the car and looked up at L, a smile coming on his face then. "L..." he said, exasperated. "H-How are you? But you..."

L smiled and nodded. "I was, Watari-san, but can we explain on the way?"

"On the way where?" Watari asked, opening the door for L.

L looked behind him and smiled at the Ceres that was sort of hiding behind him. He moved out of the way. "Ceres-chan needs to get to work."

"Ceres?" Watari asked looking up at the girl.

L nodded and ushered her inside the car before him. Ceres went reluctantly and he shut the back door after her. L then placed himself in the front seat, sitting in his odd fashion. Watari hopped into the driver's seat and pulled out. "So," he started, "who is this Ceres?"

L did not look at him. "She's the one who saved me," he said.

"Saved you?"

"Yes, she possesses something much like the Death Note."

"What would that be?"

"It's called a Life Note, and with it she had brought me back to the living," L mused.

Watari nodded. He looked in the rearview mirror. "Domo, Ceres-chan," he said.

Ceres looked up after staring out the window and bowed her head, smiling sheepishly.

"Do you know where the flower shop is, Watari-san?" L asked.

Watari nodded and then made a sharp turn to the left. "Have you informed Mello and Near of yourself?"

"No," L answered. "I'm still getting all this straightened out. I believe I want them to go on thinking that I am dead anyways."

"Is this it?" Watari asked to Ceres as he pulled the car to a stop in front of the flower shop.

Ceres looked out the opposite window and aimed for her handle. "Yes, this is it. Thank you, I should be done in a few hours."

L was out before she'd even reached the handle. "Stay here, Ceres-chan," he said to her, keeping her door shut until she stopped trying to open it and went inside.

She looked up, surprised. "W-What's he doing?" she asked the old man, looking to him frantically.

Watari was silent and waited for L to return.

L entered the shop and instantly looked around for the manager, or owner of the store preferably. He found old Mrs. McCormick at the front counter. He somehow already disliked the atmosphere here. He stepped up to the counter. "May I speak to the owner?" he asked.

"You're looking at her," she snapped.

L sort of glared. "Yes..." he mumbled. "I'm here about Iesada Ceres."

"Ceres...she's got three minutes..." the woman said, looking at her watch.

Ceres was sitting in the car about to throw a conniption. _I'm so gonna be late!_ She began to panic and squirm around in her seat, stopping only when Watari gave her a look from the rear-view mirror.

Inside, L sighed. "She no longer works here; I'm here to collect anything she has."

"No longer works here? Shouldn't she be the one coming and telling me that?" the old woman asked sharply, staring the man up and down.

L glared. "Do you have anything of hers, ma'am..."

The woman gave and searched for a box. She stuffed a couple aprons inside and a few other knickknacks. She handed the box over to L along with an envelope. L gratefully took it and the little metal name-tag as well, and thanked her, heading out the door.

Ceres was sweating. "I'm going to be fired if I'm just one minute late..." she mumbled opening the door. Just as she had L was in front of her and handed her the box. "Your things, Ceres-chan," he said, handing her everything but the envelope.

Ceres stared. "W-What?! Did you get me fired?!"

"No," L said, closing her door and moving to get back into the front seat. He signaled for Watari to go. "You quit."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

"I q-q-q-quit!" Ceres sputtered. She clutched the edges of the Life Note like a life line, a habit she was picking up quite fast. The book always sent her warm strength.

L nodded not looking back as they continued on to his unknown destination. Ceres however was not so quiet. "You. Lost. Me. My. Job. Ryuzaki, stop the car now!" Her cool gone Ceres struggled not to hit the genius. iWho does he think he is! It's my job! MY JOB! He doesn't get how hard it is to be hired without a home!/i

"Keep going," L said to Watari softly before turning his clinical voice to her. "Ceres-chan, I understand and apologize for why you are upset however you must understand that it was necessary."

"Watari, pull over now!" Ceres was livid. iKill. Kill. Anger. Anger./i

"Go," L commanded firmly finally facing Ceres. "I'm sorry, Ceres-chan, but I had to. It is for your own protection, your name isn't safe in the public for now."

"STOP THE CAR NOW L LAWL-!"

L's hand clamped firmly over Ceres' mouth, he was half way in the back seat; his knee was on the middle section of the car, the other stretching out with his torso leaning over Ceres. She glared at him with surprise in her angry eyes. Like a child she licked his hand but she got no reaction.

"L," Watari hinted.

L climbed fully into the back seat, never taking his hand from her mouth. "Ceres-chan," he said again in a forceful, powerful way, "It was for your own good. That shop was unpleasant. Don't worry, I'll be paying you more then what you made there, which I take by your situation, was not much."

Ceres was still glaring but begrudging she accepted her fate. L noted her silence and slunk back into the front seat removing his hand. It really had been a sucky job…but it still was a job. She glared out the window as they passed through unfamiliar streets.

Apollo merrily flew through the streets following the scent of his Life Note. He had woken late, at least past nine o'clock, and had been deserted once again. iThese mortals really don't have manners…just extremely good cake./i

Taking his time the young angel followed the scent to another apartment, this one newer and shiny. He passed through the walls where he knew Ceres would be and emerged in a messy man's apartment.

He heard the sounds of a conversation and wondered forward to the kitchen.

"So you're saying that you were brought back to life by a book opposite the Death Note? That's so cool!" The younger man was bouncing in his seat like a child on Christmas. L, Ceres, and Watari sighed together at the young man's antics; they knew just how serious messing with Kira was.

"That is correct Matsuda," L replied.

"What about these angel things? Are there more of them? What do they look like? Do they have wings? Wait, is this iApollo/i here right now?"

"Present," Right on queue Apollo drifted in. L and Ceres looked up at him as the only people able to see and hear him. The angel stopped floating and dropped back on the floor coming to stand behind Ceres. "Miss me or were you trying to ditch me?"

Ceres blushed, "Sorry?" she offered.

Matsuda frowned. "Who are you saying sorry to, Ceres-chan?" he asked, staring at her with curious eyes.

Ceres glanced back at him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, he's here, right behind me," she sighed.

L gave choice glances back at Apollo at his last comment which turned to small glares but shook it off. He turned back to Matsuda then. "Matsuda, I need you to head down to the station and inform Soichiro, including the rest of the team, Aizawa and so on."

Matsuda nodded quickly. "What are you going to do, Ryuzaki-sama?" he asked quietly then.

L glanced at Ceres and then back at Matsuda. "When you get to the station and inform everyone of the current situation, I want to know if we've found Yagami-kun's location as of now. If we do not have a lead let me know right away. And if there is anyone still willing to be devoted to this case, I would like to have a meeting with them again in England."

"You're going back to England?" he asked.

"I must inform Near and Mello, and if we can track him from there," he answered.

Matsuda nodded again. "What about her?" he asked gesturing to Ceres who had been making small conversation with Apollo, though her words meant hardly anything to him on the subject of cake and kittens.

L stared at her for a moment in silence and then looked back. "She is the owner of the Life Note, thus, she is coming with myself and whoever else."

"Hai, Ryuzaki-sama."

"Whoever is accompanying us should meet Watari and myself at the airport come tomorrow morning."

Matsuda nodded. L looked at Ceres once again and sighed to himself, extending his hand and touching her arm. "We must go," he said going to the door then.

Ceres glanced away from Apollo then and sighed in relief. iFinally,/I she thought following him quickly. Once they were both out in the hall, Apollo behind them, Ceres glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "So, what are your plans?"

He looked at her. "Did you not hear me earlier?" he asked, not curtly but curiously and disbelievingly.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but he wouldn't shut up so I couldn't listen," she frowned pointing with her thumb back at Apollo, but he wasn't paying attention so he didn't notice.

L nodded with a short sigh. "Come tomorrow morning we will be leaving for England with the rest of the Investigation Team."

"England?"

He nodded. "Yes, yourself along with us. I will be able to track down Yagami-kun much easier from there, and also exchange information with Mello and Near, of course informing them that their assistance on the case concerning my passing is no longer needed."

She nodded her head, somewhat understanding. "And until then?"

"I need a bit of time to recover and rest. We'll be going back to the apartment," he mused.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The trip back to the apartment was made in silence, all save for Apollo who was constantly tapping Ceres on the shoulder and asking random questions about random things. Half of these taps did Ceres ignore but sometimes his touch was rough which she deduced required her immediate attention, but even then was the matter about something small and insignificant such as the clouds or a garbage can or a pebble. After so long Ceres ignored them all, and blocked out his angelic voice no matter how hypnotizing it was.

All this time L had been walking only a few steps in front of Ceres and was trying in earnest to keep his gaze in front of him. However, with pursed lips in irritation, he couldn't stop hearing Apollo and Ceres talk, and their voices combined hypnotized him also. Not only was he aggravated by the constant distraction but the angel's continuous bothering of Ceres was also pinching at his nerves, but he didn't say anything. Soon it became very quiet, the normal quiet which he remembered to be hearing absolutely nothing, blocking out all of the noises of the city which included the people and cars and factories and planes and anything else that could make a single sound so he could think. For once, he did not like it and found it to be odd. He found that both Apollo and Ceres were quiet—Apollo not being around at all actually. He guessed that the angel finally realized that Ceres was no longer going to bless him with her easily gained attention and decided to go find it elsewhere. Against his better judgment, L stopped momentarily and waited until Ceres was at his side and then started walking again, forcing himself to match her pace for once rather than his own, fast one.

Ceres said nothing for a long time, hardly noticing him there at first as she was staring at the cracks in the cement as she walked down the sidewalk with her hands in the pockets of her jacket. Once she did notice him, she frowned slightly and glanced at him from the corner of her eye and found him to be staring directly at her. Even when their gazes met he did not look away, and Ceres figured that L was anything but shy, or maybe it was because he had no interest in her whatsoever and had no reason to look away when she looked back. In a way, this was depressing, but she did not dwell on it and simply looked forward again, figuring that he was concentrating on something like a strand of her hair so he could think about more important things.

"You seem bothered."

For a split second Ceres couldn't tell whether it was Apollo's voice or L's voice, and she cursed herself for thinking it and shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

"You're thinking about something."

"People are always thinking about something, whether it is the weather, a pet, the date of their next business meeting, or what they are going to get their lover for their anniversary," Ceres said automatically.

"But it is not always about the weather, or a pet, or a business date, or someone's lover," L said in return, just as quickly.

"Of course not; there are billions upon billions of things to think about," she replied.

"What are you thinking about?"

If this was a contest to see who could reply the quickest and for the longest, Ceres would have lost, because she couldn't answer right away. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye—he was still staring—and then up at the sky and back down to the sidewalk. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

She sighed. He wasn't going to give up and she knew it. She decided to be completely honest—or at least make him understand. "There are some things that we can't always say for sure what we are thinking about. It's complicated."

"Yes you can," he said. "It's just that you are too embarrassed to say them or you do not completely understand them yourself."

"Right," she agreed. "This is one of those instances."

"Are you embarrassed?"

She blushed instantly but hid her face. "No," she said. "No I'm not embarrassed."

"Then you are confused, because you do not understand what you are thinking about."

"Yes…" she said, turning back then and her face was normal, all emotion that was once there now gone.

"Is there any way that I can help?" he asked, and Ceres noted the extreme curiosity in his voice since his tone got higher the further into the question he spoke.

She glanced at him again, then her gaze fell to the collar of his shirt, her eyes hooding in the process, and she shook her head. Turning back to face forward again she said "No, there isn't."

"Why?" he frowned, growing irritated that he did not know what was bothering her and that every conversation he had with her was a battle. He began to think that one of these days he would lose one of those battles and that bothered him greatly.

"Because, there just isn't, okay?" she said, all patience lost now and this was the only reason she lost these kinds of battles.

"Okay…" L sighed, finally looking forward again after having not done so for the past few blocks now. "We're here," he said, stopping and turning to go up a small flight of stairs and entered a code on the keypad beside the door that allowed him inside.

Ceres felt a weight in her stomach then and she felt bad that she had not given him the answers she knew he wanted. She felt distant from him then and a fear swelled inside her that she would keep growing distant if she kept up this kind of act. She glanced behind her to see if Apollo was there, but he was not, so she continued in through the door behind L.

Once she was inside L closed the door behind her as he had been holding it open for her, then turned on his heel silently and started down the hallway towards the elevator. He pressed the button with the up arrow on it and waited for the doors to part, and when they did he stepped inside and waited for Ceres before pressing the proper floor number for his temporary apartment. The doors slid closed and they went up.

Ceres had parked herself in the corner of the elevator and was facing the wall with the buttons on it; her head leaned up against the wall as she stared forward with her hands holding the elbows of her arms, her fingers clutching the jacket so her arms would not fall. L's eyes could not avoid watching her. He followed her gaze and saw she was staring at the button with the number 7 on it, but he knew she was not thinking about floor 7. Should she be staring at someone directly L knew she would be staring through them, not at them. And he wondered if when she was staring at him if she was staring through him or at him, and it bothered him that he did not know. But he was not going to ask her if when she stared at him did she stare through him or at him, because that would be a personal question and he figured she wouldn't understand what he was talking about anyway. She had a small mind as far as he was concerned, and was just caught up in a situation which was be hard for her to comprehend, and would never fully understand. He didn't know why such a giant burden was placed on such a small and unintelligent person, but he figured it was all done for good reason, whatever kind of stupid reason that might be. He also figured that her philosophical ideas went only as far as her patience, and her reasoning as far as her temper. Of course, those were the limitations for all humans with the exception of L, because he had infinite patience and no temper at all. It was cause and effect, not just effect.

The doors slid open at the sound of a tiny bell and L tore his eyes from Ceres and started out silently. He pocketed his hands and started down the hallway. "Do not leave your room from now until I get you tomorrow morning to leave for England unless it is a dire emergency. Do not come into my room at any time and don't make a lot of noise, please. And if that angel comes back tell him to be quiet also," he said as he walked. He waited for a response then, something along the lines of a 'what if' question, but it did not come. He frowned, turning around then. "Ceres-chan…?"

Ceres was not behind him, he soon came to find out, and he glanced up quickly to see the doors of the elevator shut and he heard it go back down towards the ground floor. He cursed to himself and ran up to the elevator, pressing the up button several times but he knew that was a stupid reaction because the elevator wouldn't come up again until it hit the ground floor. He took off towards the stairs then, grabbing on to the railing and running down them, all 24 flights. He began to question why he always got the top floors of the apartments, but then remembered that this never happened, and that was why he got them.

"You've got to be kidding me…" he growled to himself, automatically thinking that she was leaving the building and running away somewhere, more than likely leaving the Life Note in the elevator for him to find which really wasn't a smart idea at all, and he began to question her intelligence even more so than before. Not that it would be a terrible thing that she ran away, but he still did not want the responsibility of the Life Note. That, and the fact that he did not want to be the outlet of Apollo's entertainment. That was more of the reason why he wanted Ceres to stay. It was selfish, but he didn't care.

He knew that by the time he reached the bottom she would already be gone, so once he was down there he did not go for the elevator but rather went straight for the door, bursting through it and down the steps and onto the sidewalk where he looked both ways to see if he could spot her. If he couldn't then he would forget it for now and track her down later. It wouldn't be that hard considering when he touched her arm he placed a small tracking device on her sleeve. It was sneaky, and probably a very untrustworthy thing for him to do, but it was for this sole purpose. He could not afford to lose her, even if she was only there to redirect an angel's annoying behavior.

As he suspected, he did not see her. He sighed to himself, still catching his breath from the run and went back inside and pressed the up button on the elevator. He waited patiently and lifted his head when he heard the tiny bell sound, frowning once the doors opened, and his eyes a bit wide as he found Ceres was still inside.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Ceres had never moved from her place in the corner of the elevator. Since the trip to the top floor was so long, she had more than enough time to pass out into a light sleep with her body weight leaned up against the wall, and the movements of the elevator only soothed her further into sleep along with the pleasant music that played through the speakers.

If L had been of lesser mind he might have broken down into a laughing fit of some kind; as it was however, the man merely sighed and stepped inside the elevator. As the machine rose to the top floor again he reached his spindly fingers before Ceres' sleeping face and snapped abruptly. The girl didn't stir.

Slightly put out, the detective forwent the few manners he had. L grabbed her shoulders and shook her roughly. At once, Ceres' light blue eyes jolted open.

"Wha – ?" she murmured, sleep heavy in her voice. L didn't give her time to respond. Dropping his hand from her shoulder to her wrist he yanked the girl out of the elevator. Ceres lost her footing and her face planted to the floor, dragging L down into a sloppy kneel with her.

L recovered first and reclaimed his normal hunched stand but Ceres remained on the floor blinking a dazed haze from her mind. Her eyes brightened after a moment and then sharpened in a narrow eyed glare which focused in on the detective. "What the hell?" she snapped.

"Oh, you're awake," L commented in his best nonchalant voice. Ceres was not to be a fool though, and just heard the smugness dripping from his words.

"Obviously," she growled.

L looked down at her blankly. "Stay in your room. Do not come out unless it is an emergency. Do not come to my room and refrain from making any noise, please." L said this all briskly and when he was done he simply walked away not caring in the least for the girl still on the floor. Ceres watched him go dubiously. She didn't think anyone could be so rude, and as strange as he was, Ceres hadn't thought that L would be the type to be purposefully nasty—he'd been kinder before and she wondered if she'd done something. Well, something other than falling asleep in the elevator . . . and that was hardly something to get upset about.

As the detective's back finally disappeared Ceres decided she had had quite enough of sitting on the floor. Just as she was picking herself up a familiar blonde floated through the wall. Apollo took one look at her and cracked up laughing. "Whatcha doing on the floor, Ceres-chan?" the angel asked merrily.

"Plotting a detective's second death," the girl snarled.

Apollo blinked owlishly before a Cheshire cat grin spread across his face. "Oh—ho!" Apollo exclaimed. Ceres did not like the twinkle in his eyes—not at all.

"What?" she asked self consciously.

The boy only smiled. "Nothing," he sang mysteriously.

Ceres looked at him a moment longer and then abruptly decided she had had enough of arguing with the socially-stupid male population. "I'm going to my room," she sniffed. "And you are not coming. Go bother Ryuzaki or something." Ceres turned on a dime and stalked off to her room. She unlocked it with the card L had given her when they checked in and could only stare as the door swung open. The sight of the presidential suite made her gut twist. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate a nice place to stay but this was a bit much. She knew that L was rich but did he have to be so flamboyant with his money? Ceres knew that if she had his kind of money she'd settle for a simple and comfortable life. To see him throw money away like it was nothing made her heart sore and her entire body clench.

iHe doesn't know how good he's got it./i

The girl was still steamed when she threw herself onto the bed. Her eyes traveled along the extravagant room and her temper rose. iFine. If he wants to spend money, then I'll help him./i

Ceres sat up and reached for the phone. "Yes, hello. I'm in room 1005. . .Yes, I'd like to order room service . . . Lobster, first. Wait, actually I'd like a sample of everything . . . Hm? Oh yeah, all that sounds good . . . How much? . . . Nope won't be a problem . . . Thank you . . ."

Apollo's high senses told him that Ceres was not in the mood to listen to his constant gibberish, even though he so dearly wanted to talk to her about the Milky Way and ask her if she knew that whenever she saw the Milky Way that it was just a cluster of billions of angels having a party in the first level of Heaven which could be seen from the earth but appeared as stars. This wasn't true, of course, but he wanted to see if she would believe him or not. However, he would not be able to get the joy of her frustration this time because she was too busy talking on the phone for him to get a single word in, so he decided to leave the room.

Apollo fazed through the door and floated out into the hallway. He looked both ways and saw the room service lady coming. He watched her until she walked right through him and then he traveled down towards L's door. He placed himself up against it to see if he could hear anything and all that he got was the continuous clicking sound of keys on a keyboard. He glanced down at the crack under the door and found that there was little to no light coming out from under it, which meant that the light was clearly not on and L was on the computer. Apollo reached his hand through the door to begin fazing through.

"Go away."

Apollo frowned, not even half way through the door when he heard L's voice. He shook his head and stepped all the way through and rested his feet on the floor. L's back was to him, how could he have known? Maybe he was talking to something or someone else.

"Go away, Apollo."

No. He was talking to the angel, that much was obvious now. Apollo shook his head and appeared behind the computer, leaning his arms over the top of the monitor as he stared at L. "Ceres-chan won't talk to me," he frowned.

"I don't care just please get out," came L's smooth voice. His eyes were locked onto the screen of the monitor as he spoke.

"But then I'll have no one to talk to," Apollo complained. "What are you doing?"

L sighed heavily. This was exactly why he had to keep Ceres around. But what good was she if Apollo was still going to bug him? Perhaps he had to be a little more forceful in his demands if he wanted the least bit of peace and quiet. Plus, he could not afford for Apollo to only be putting up a face and hearing information that need not be heard by the apposing side. Not that L was assuming Apollo was a fake, but he could not take that chance. He quickly shut off the computer then and the room went dark. "Nothing anymore. You may leave now."

Apollo glanced down at the blank screen for a moment and then it instantly lit back up, the PC revving up again. At this L frowned deeply and pulled the plug from the wall, glaring at Apollo now. "Please get out."

But this did not bother the angel a bit. The computer turned back on once more. L, having actually grown frustrated with the angel, picked himself up and started for the door. Apollo watched him from the corner of his eye as the detective opened it and left it open as he stepped out into the hall and marched down the hallway. Apollo frowned, thinking L was going to get on to Ceres for his misbehavior and quickly floated out of the room and watched him from behind.

L raised up his fist and rapped on Ceres' door. When there was no response he rapped again and called her name. Still nothing. He sighed again and reached into his pocket for the copy of the key to her room and swiped it. He pushed the handle down then and shoved open the door. "Ceres what are you—"

Apollo's eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped, a possible drop of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. "Ceres-chan where did you get all this food?!" he exclaimed, suddenly inside and appearing at random places where the food was. Trays upon trays of fancy dishes were lying atop metal carts that littered the floor of the apartment. From lobster to steak to cake to the fanciest of salads, it was all there. Every possible dish that the room service offered had been brought to Ceres' room at a price best not spoken of. Apollo could not help but shove his face into whatever he could get a hold of.

L's hand slowly left the handle of the door and he stood there idly, staring into the room and at the food until his eyes roved up the bed skirt and to Ceres who was sitting on top of it with her back to him, facing the single window that had a grand view of the city. From the looks of things, L knew she hadn't touched a single bit of the food that was brought. The only indication that she had eaten or drank anything was the glass of water that was on the nightstand, and it was only half full. Why had she ordered all of this food if she wasn't going to eat? What was she trying to prove? Was this some petty cry for attention, like a child? She looked about nineteen years old; she shouldn't be acting out like this, should she? Or perhaps this was about something L had no inkling of at all.

Ceres was beside herself with rage but it did not show in her face. Inside, however, it was like a tornado. She didn't know if she succeeded in angering the detective, but she was sure of one thing, and that was that her efforts were in utter vain. She did not get the pleasure of pigging out at someone else's expense like she thought she could. Her first attempts at trying a bit of the food failed and her stomach simply refused to want any of it. She couldn't eat it because it wasn't hers, and she didn't earn it. L gained his wealth because of his genius mind. He had saved countless lives and put hundreds of criminals away. He deserved every penny given to him, and he damn sure deserved to flaunt it however way he wanted to. Ceres, however, had no right to take advantage of this and she physically couldn't anyway. She felt miserable, and guilty, and ashamed.

Though L could not see her face, he knew what it might look like. He began to feel a weight in his stomach, and it was very foreign. He didn't understand why he was feeling it, but all he knew was that it made him feel bad. Was this regret? "Ceres—"

"I'll pay for it," she said automatically and in a small voice.

"Ceres…" L frowned.

"What are you talking about Ceres-chan?" Apollo said, his cheeks full of German chocolate cake and they resembled a chipmunk's cheeks. "You can't afford a single plate of this, much less the whole package! It would take you a lifetime!" he said, not in an evil way but he didn't know any better. Apollo didn't understand emotions very well anyway.

If Ceres didn't feel the impact of that particular bullet, L did, and he winced in response, his eyes shutting momentarily in preparation for some sort of outburst from Ceres, but it never came. He opened his eyes again and found that she didn't move.

"I'll pay for it, Ryuzaki-sama," Ceres said again, turning slightly to glance at him from the corner of her eye, and L noticed that it was slightly red.

There was a pang in his heart then, and he was more confused and lost than before. He knew something was terribly wrong but he also knew that if he pressed any further it would only result in an emotional outburst from her that he didn't know if he could handle. He didn't remember his shoulder as being something to cry on because he had never given someone that kind of opportunity, and the fact that a situation that required his shoulder had never arose. He had to go to someone else for help or he wouldn't know what to do should it get worse. In a slight panic, but one that wasn't visible on his face, he backed away and grabbed the door handle, pulling it closed behind him and walked briskly down the hallway and back to his room where he plugged in his computer and impatiently waited for it to start up since he had improperly shut it down. Once it had powered on, he switched over to the web camera and contacted Watari.

Watari's face appeared on the screen then, and L had not bothered to cover up his own face with the usual Cloister Black L. Watari stationed himself at Matsuda's house for that night, since he knew that Matsuda was bound and determined to stay on the case, and that Watari knew there was a good chance Matsuda would be late waking up to get on the plane. Watari stayed to make sure Matsuda got up in time. Not only that, but Matsuda had also contacted anyone else who was coming along and they were all staying at that apartment as well: Soichiro Yagami—Kira's father—Shuishi Aizawa, and Kanzo Mogi. Watari had been trying to get some sleep in one of the guest rooms, though the lap top which L had him carry around with him at all times was powered on and open on the nightstand beside him, and when it flashed on and beeped twice Watari was startled from his half sleep and lifted his head tiredly to see L's face. "Wha—Your face…!" he exclaimed, jumping up and throwing the covers over the lap top when he pulled it onto the bed with him. "Ryuzaki, what is it? Have you discovered something of Kira's whereabouts?" the old man asked.

L stared at Watari for a long time before responding. "What do you do when someone cries, Watari?"

There was a long silence after this as Watari was completely dumbfounded at L's question. He shook his head. "You mean… This isn't about Kira?"

L put his thumb to his lips and bit down on the tip of it. Watari could see extreme discomfort in the detective's eyes. "My question, Watari."

"O-Oh…" Watari muttered, glancing down for a brief moment and then back up. "Well… You comfort them. Find out what is wrong and try to make it better."

"How?" L asked, staring through the camera with open raccoon eyes.

"How do you comfort someone?"

"Yes."

"Well… It depends on who it is and the situation, I suppose," Watari said. "Some people use material possessions as comfort, while some use nature. Some use the company of the other, who sits there and listens to them while they explain what is bothering them. Some like to go shopping, or an outdoors sport, to get whatever it is off their mind."

"What if you chose the wrong thing? What if you make them more upset and angry?" L asked seriously, soaking in all of this information.

"Then you try a different approach… Is something wrong, Ryuzaki? Is Ceres-chan all right?"

"Thank you, Watari," L said, shutting off the camera then and powering down the computer.

Back at Matsuda's apartment, Watari frowned deeply at the now blank screen and sighed to himself. He closed it then and removed the covers, setting it back down on the nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands resting in his lap. He stared at the floor as he began to remember L as a child. He didn't talk much, and didn't interact with much of anyone but Watari. He was very lazy and had everything done for him. It was Watari who fed him, dressed him, and bathed him. L never cried and he never witnessed anyone in the orphanage cry, because he was always separated and alone, so L didn't really know what crying was or what it felt like. Watari felt bad then for spoiling L as much as he did, but if was to get L the way he is now then it was not a wasted effort. However, while L is the most logical person in existence, that doesn't mean he knows a thing about normal human emotions and how he is supposed to react to them. To L, life was monotone.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

L found himself facing an unfamiliar obstacle as he approached Ceres' room. As much as he trusted Watari, he was not sure that the man had given him what he needed to deal with a highly emotional female. And even if Watari had, L was not sure he was the right person to do so.

"Ceres-chan?" L asked knocking lightly on the door. He heard some shuffling inside but besides that there was no response. There was nothing for it; L pushed open the door.

Ceres was not on the bed as he walked in, but he noticed the light on in the bathroom and the door slightly ajar. "Ceres-chan?" he called again. Behind him, Apollo perked up and flew over. With one hand full of cake and the other rubbing his chin thoughtfully, the angel poked his head through the door. At once he pulled back and gave the detective an odd look.

"Oh, she does not look happy," Apollo said unhelpfully.

"Go away," L growled feeling even more uncomfortable. Apollo merely raised his eyebrows and gave the detective a clear are-you-kidding-me glare. Then he proceeded to faze completely through the bathroom door. L heard him whisper something to the girl inside just before the door opened showing a swollen eyed Ceres and a glaring angel.

"What do you want?" Ceres asked sounding exhausted.

"Did I do something to upset you?" L asked a little uncertain if he was on the right path. To his mass bewilderment, his statement made Ceres bark out a harsh laugh.

"Oh yes, many things you have done have made me upset, Ryuzaki." She said. "But it wasn't you who made me upset this time," she fixed him a stare. "You don't have to do this."

There it was: his exit. L had a free pass to get the heck out of that situation. Unfortunately, he wasn't stupid and knew it was a false door that would only lead to complications in the future. L resigned himself to this and said, "No, Ceres-chan. You are upset and I am your host there for it is my business. If this about the food, I have more than enough money to pay for it." L glanced back at the cooling food mentally doing a quick calculation. He missed the scowl Ceres put on at his boastful words and the eye roll that accompanied it and by the time he turned back both were gone.

"Thank you," Ceres said quietly. "But I still want to pay for this myself."

"Nonsense," L quipped. "Just consider it payback for the loss of your job." The girl's face softened.

"Thank you," she said. This time, L simply nodded and headed for the door.

"Good night," he called as he went.

"Good night, Ryuzaki," was the small reply. L left the room feeling highly sated in an odd way but in no way would he ever do that again. He traveled back to his own suite and resumed what he had been doing before the angel had interrupted him. As he clicked through endless files of data both new and old, trying to build another case profile to include what had transpired since his death, any thoughts of the Life Note owner became simply what they were on the screen: facts and data. It never occurred to him that his lack of experience in human emotions led to him missing a get deal about Ceres, and it never came to mind that perhaps the girl was not okay, for in fact she was any thing but. L went to be pleased and peaceful while the girl a few doors down tossed and turned. A scatter mess of food littered her suite, along with the shattered remains of her respect in both the detective, and herself.

Perhaps it was something more than the food.

It was. It was way more. It was so much more that, L couldn't even fathom what it could have been. He couldn't sleep that night, not that he slept much before but it was the fact that he didn't sleep at all that was something to notice. L sat in front of the computer screen all night long. It wasn't on, so the screen was black, and he was just thinking. After having been thinking about the case and sorting all the files, putting Ceres and the Life Note under their respected folders, his mind wouldn't go where it usually did: nowhere but the case. It went elsewhere, and he couldn't concentrate for once in his life. His stomach hurt; a foreign feeling, just like the feeling of guilt he had felt earlier. He put his thumb to his lips and bit down. The tip had grown white by the end of the night as if he'd soaked it in water for hours.

Ceres had not slept either. She just watched as Apollo continued to eat. He was a black hole, she knew, since he had not stopped eating since the food was first brought, and it was already almost gone. He didn't talk to her, and she was grateful. She sat on her bed and stared out of the window in deep, deep thought. She watched the sun begin to rise, and that was when she knew what she had to do.

She showered and put her clothes back on and headed out of the door, the room behind her left spotless and certainly foodless. Silently slipping past L's door, she took the stairs all the way down, not wanting anyone to hear the elevator running so early in the morning. With that, once she was on ground floor, she left the building all together.

"Where is Ceres-chan?" It was L, and he was standing in her doorway, frowning at the room being so clean and no one but Apollo inside who was looking at him upside down from atop the bed, lying on his back.

"I don't know, detective," he said, tasting the word 'detective' on his lips. "I never saw her leave."

"You're lying," L said with a glare.

"No, nooo, I'm not lying," Apollo assured.

L sighed heavily and turned sharply, almost slamming the door behind him. This girl was causing him far more trouble than he had wanted. Just the Life Note would have sufficed but why did it come with a free gift? He trudged down the hallways in a disturbed manner, glaring at the floor as he went and caught the elevator and went to the ground floor and to the desk where he asked if they had seen the girl leave. Upon hearing that she had, he was beyond angry, but he wasn't going to let his emotions fly at these people, no, they didn't deserve it.

But he knew who did.

While he was there he decided to pay off the tab of the food that Ceres had ordered, and much to his furthering discomfort, it had already been paid. But how? There was nothing else to do now but to go look for the girl, and fast, because there were only a couple hours before he had to be at the airport with the others and set off for England. Where had she gone, and why now?

Ceres had, in fact, been all over the place that morning. First she went all the way back to her old living place, where she had gathered up all of her life's savings and took it with her to pay off the tab at the hotel, one she knew she had to pay no matter what some billionaire detective told her. And once it was paid she had all of $14.57 left.

"Coffee... Yeah..." Ceres went to the nearest Java Hut and grabbed herself a cup of Joe, the kind she ordered for Mr. and Mrs. McCormick on most afternoons. It tasted good for the cheap price that it was. So she stayed there and sat at the table that was outside and drank away at her hot cup of coffee, ignoring the feel of the lose change in her pocket which she knew was all she had left.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

For a long while, L just stood in the lobby. Not thinking or planning like he normally would be, but stewing in the unusual emotion mess he found inside of himself. The problem was, as much as he understood and dissected emotions from the people he worked with and the criminals he chased, he had little experience dealing with those things inside himself. In all the time he stood there he never moved a single step closer to enlightenment. Eventually, he just gave up, and the instant he did logic took control.

First, he asked the lobbyist for a phone and informed Watari of the new situation. The older man didn't ask many questions for which L was grateful. He also asked Watari to send down the keys to their secondary vehicle. When that was done, the detective headed outside and climbed into the driver's seat of a new looking Volvo outside. Despite popular belief, L i_could/i _sit normally, and he did so as he started up the car and backed away from the hotel.

He scanned the streets surrounding the hotel first but that proved fruitless. Next, he drove to the library thinking that the girl might head for familiar settings for comfort. Ceres wasn't there when he pulled up, but according to the librarian a girl that fit her figure had come and gone some time ago. He asked the librarian which way she had gone and had been pointed west, right where all the shopping malls were—lovely.

L was not a social creature by any means, but despite his misgivings he knew that Ceres was an important feature in solving the Kira Case and he was not going to let some girl stand in the way of Light Yagami going to jail. Besides that, the sensation in his gut was screaming at him to find and fix Ceres, and he found the feeling quite unpleasant. Now he really wondered how people could stand these emotion things. His way was so much cleaner. In that manner of thinking, L parked the car at the edges of the crowd, slipped his feet into those annoying shoes, and climbed out. It was going to be a pain, but if he wanted the girl found it was going to take some actual effort.

He started by simply searching the crowd up and down the streets but he didn't see anyone with Ceres' odd hair color. Then, he entered a few more popular stores and scanned there but with no luck. It was when he began to window shop that he hit gold at a Java Hut. There, sitting outside the coffee shop looking for the entire world like she had just been dumped, was just the girl he had been searching for. A single glance at her face made him cringe and there wasn't any more doubt about it; Ceres was hurting, and L had the most particular feeling that he had done something wrong. It made him hesitate to intrude into her gloom but the logical part of his brain reminded him that he could not simply stand on the street gawking all day. He walked straight up and sat down across from her.

Ceres caught one look at him, jumped with a screech, and sent her coffee straight to the floor where they both stared at it alien-like. Then, Ceres turned at him with a pout and pointedly stated, "That was my coffee, Ryuzaki."

Of all the things L thought Ceres might have said, that was definitely not one of them. Nor had he thought she would try to fool him into believing she wasn't upset. It was . . . peculiar, and it made L fall into a mood he hadn't reached since Rai—Kira. He was genuinely intrigued at how the girl's mind worked and he showed that unconsciously by curling up his knees, leaning forward, and biting on his thumb. "I apologize," he said simply, hardly even realizing he had done so. It was clear by Ceres's face that she had noticed the shift in him. She fidgeted.

"It's fine," she replied. "but, um, why are you here, Ryuzaki? I left the Life Note back at the hotel. You don't need me for the case, anyway."

"True," L said truthfully for once. "I don't really need you Ceres-chan, just like I don't really need the task team or two successors. I still keep them around though, and I still want to keep you."

Abruptly, fire exploded across his cheek. L's eyes went wide and he slowly turned back to face Ceres. The Life Note owner was now standing, her hand still raised from when she had slapped him, with a furious expression across her face.

"I am not your possession, Ryuzaki!" she started heatedly and loudly; loud enough to attract a crowd. "You can't just play with me like I am your toy or puppet. Hell, you shouldn't treat anybody like that, ever! You're not so high and mighty as you think. You're still human you know!"

Her rant was accompanied with several women clapping in the crowd. Ceres turned pink, having just noticed them, but that didn't stop her from glaring down the stunned detective.

After a moment of silence from them both the crowd began to dissipate and all that was left were Ceres, L, and maybe a few others who sat at other tables. Ceres, however, was not going to let down her guard for one moment. She was through with the detectives annoying antics. She was through with the Kira case. She was through with everything. All she wanted was to relieve the guilty feelings she had for buying all of that food, and once done she'd go back to living the way she used to, which was—to her—a lot less stressful.

L could see how heated she was. Her chest was rising and falling with a decent amount of exertion, and her fingers were shaking ever so slightly. Part of it was from nervousness. The other part was anger. He didn't quite understand why she had acted out so violently against him and had such an outburst. What he told Ceres was the truth; did she not want that? Did she want him to lie? Surely not. No one likes to be lied to. He knew he didn't. But that was how he treated everything. No one was personally important to him besides Watari, which meant that everything else was just there to be used. Was that a bad thing?

He watched her heaving chest and waited for her to calm down before giving her a response. That took all of about three minutes, and once she was breathing normally again he stared at her as her gaze fell from him and went to her hand. She slowly lowered it then and both hands rested on the table. She glanced at the fallen coffee cup then and the puddle it made beside her feet. He made his move then.

"That really hurt, you know," he said.

She glanced up at him from the corner of her eye. "It was supposed to."

"Why would you want to hurt me?"

"Lots of reasons," she admitted, standing up straight then. If she was going to speak her feelings, now was the time to do it. He needed to know how much he could hurt people, even if it was unintentional.

"What reasons?" he asked with a frown. The only one he could think of was making her quit her job.

"You're taking advantage of lesser people, for one."

Well, that wasn't exactly what he had expected her to say. He wanted to see where it was going though so he remained quiet.

Ceres bent down and picked up the cup then and set it on the table. "You are a wise and great person, I'll admit that. You're a genius, and you do good things for the world. But you're a sleazy leader. You're only out to benefit yourself. You order around your loyal subjects to gain all of this information for you and then suck them dry and send them back out to do more life-threatening tasks. You show little appreciation beyond a simple 'thank you' for the things that people have done for you. You don't see the simple things that strike emotions in normal people. You don't respect other people's feelings. So long as you get what you want, what do you care? You're narrow-minded. One track minded. Using people like this is not what leaders do," she growled, and the anger was coming back. "You lost me my job, you ruined my future plans, caused me unnecessary pain and depression, and you made me do bad things that I would have otherwise never have done," she said weakly, emotion playing on her lips. "I've been following you around, and moving by the strings that you've attached to me. I just can't do that anymore. My heart can't take it. It's… It's mental abuse, Ryuzaki."

Now, he really wasn't expecting that. The further she went the more the frown he newly acquired grew. Was he really hurting her that badly? Was this how she really felt towards him? What she thought of him? He'd always believed that he stood for good and justice. But a sleaze? He couldn't possibly be…

He could see the hurt in her eyes as she stared at him. She was no longer glaring or shaking with anger. She was staring at him hopelessly and shivering with anxiety. He hadn't realized just how much damage he had done. It was like his first real epiphany. It struck him hard, too. He had never really seen anyone in so much pain where the cause of it was his own doing. Of course it was unintentionally, but he thought it was okay and right because no one had ever told him otherwise before. If it was wrong, then Watari would have told him it was wrong. But he didn't, so did that mean it was right to make people feel this way?

He really didn't know and he wasn't going to rely on Ceres to make his decision. For now, he was going to go with what he'd always gone with: Ceres was just overreacting. He hadn't done anything wrong and she was just emotionally weak. There, problem solved.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," L said, stepping out of his chair and standing then. "But aside from all of that—whatever it was you were talking about—we really need to be going. We have a plane to catch."

He was kidding. He ibhad/i/b to be kidding. Did none of that register in his large brain? Did he really just ignore her as she spilled out all of her gut-wrenching feelings? Her hands balled into fists and she glared once again, and this time she was beside herself with rage and her eyes swelled. "No, no iwe're/i not catching any sort of plane, Ryuzaki. You go to England and you solve this case, but there's no way in Hell that I'm going with you," she said, turning then and marching angrily away and off down the sidewalk.

And, once again, not the reaction L had wanted. Why couldn't she just stop being so defensive and independent and just do what he said? Everyone else did, why couldn't she?


End file.
